Textbook

so this is what it comes to

i don't know why i'm surprised

it's all so fucking textbook and i should've realized

that i am nothing more and nothing less than

ordinary love lorn girls

who practice crashing into walls

they build around their hearts

i wonder what you think of me

i hope i'd be surprised

i don't know why i care so much someday i hope i realize

that "nothing ventured, nothing gained" 

applies to all the times i've ever

thought that i was risking love

when i was really unavailable

and you were sure to let me go

when things got inconvenient

you were sure to make like 

i'm the only one who crossed the line

i was sure to try and push you deeper further into it

we were sure to draw towards each other in the wrong time

i feel like i'm addicted

so i put you on the shelf

but i'm still spinning fantasies

like this one i like to tell myself:

you call me up and i'm a bitch but

then you're breathless, telling me 

you cannot live without my love

another day it's just impossible

and you were sure to let me go

when things got inconvenient

you were sure to make like 

i'm the only one who crossed the line

i was sure to try and push you deeper further into it

and it is sure to make me crazy knowing you are doing fine

so this is what it comes to

i don't know why i'm surprised

it's all so fucking textbook and i should've realized

that you were nothing more and nothing less than

ordinary love lorn men

who have their cake and eat it too

while crumb collectors go on scavenging

and you were sure to let me go

when things got inconvenient

you were sure to make like 

i'm the only one who crossed the line

i was sure to try and push you deeper further into it

we were sure to draw towards each other in the wrong time

 

 

 ©2005 nell balaban

all rights reserved

more about this song

music lyrics vocals - me

producer guitars bass etc etc - tim thorney

keyboards - brent barkman

engineer - mike philips

re-mix - adam fair at villa sound

mastering - noah mintz at lacquer channel