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little alliances, secret and perverse

immaculate deceptions out of nowhere

and what’s worse

they don’t evaporate as quickly as they come

as you can see

hovering, making thick the air so you can’t breathe

 

like a reckless diver you want oceans to explore

but this fear of freedom’s got you sitting safe

upon the shore

you pray for clarity, conviction and content

to find you soon

no matter, it don’t matter maybe you won’t need them

on the moon

 

and you’re looking for a window

‘cause your heart ran out the door

gravity supplies the wherewithal

but you’ll ride that loop-the-loop and be back again for more

and where will you be after the fall

 

stockpiled illusions coalescing, gaining steam

and you waken monday morning with the semblance

of a dream

which knows itself to be a sham that wraps you

in a lover’s kiss

no matter, it don’t matter close your eyes

delusion is bliss

 

and you’re looking for a window

‘cause your heart ran out the door

immaturity has heard the clarion call

but you’ll ride that loop-the-loop and be back again for more

and where will you be after the fall

 

you say you want me to be free

I know another right near by who needs these words

as much as me

 

little alliances so secret no one knows

that you waken tuesday morning with the tender ache

that owes itself to fantasy, obsession

and stunning lack of pride

no matter, it don’t matter tell yourself

you can tell yourself you just tell yourself

that you never lied

 

and you’d give-up on the window

if he’d open up the door

vanity provides the protocol

fantasy is fine if you are fine with nothing more

and where will you be after the fall

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©2005 nell balaban 

all rights reserved